60 Ted Lasso Quotes from the Best Comedy Drama on Apple TV+

Ted Lasso is an American sports comedy-drama series on Apple TV+ developed by Jason Sudeikis, Bill Lawrence, Joe Kelly and Brendan Hunt. The show follows football (the American kind) coach, the titular Lasso, who is hired to manage a British soccer team (what he lacks in knowledge). Just as the kind-hearted coach — played by Jason Sudeikis, who won an Emmy for his performance — managed to make his way into the hearts of his boss, his players and his community, the ever-optimistic and determined coach has stolen audience hearts, too. At the center of Lasso’s coaching skills are his Ted Lasso-isms that range from profound to hilarious and everywhere in between. One of the best part of the show is Ted’s endless fountain of one-liners, aphorisms, and weirdly accurate observations about the world around him. Here are Ted Lasso Quotes, wit and wisdom from everyone’s favorite football coach.

Ted Lasso Quotes

1. “I shouldn’t bring an umbrella to a brainstorm.” ~ Ted Lasso

2. “Be curious, not judgmental.” ~ Ted Lasso

3. “Your body is like day-old rice. If it ain’t warmed up properly, something real bad could happen.” ~ Ted Lasso

4. “As the man once said, ‘the harder you work, the luckier you get.’” ~ Ted Lasso

5. “If the Internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously.” ~ Ted Lasso

6. “There’s two buttons I never like to hit, alright? And that’s ‘panic’ and ‘snooze.’” ~ Ted Lasso
7. “I’ve never been embarrassed about having streaks in my drawers. You know, it’s all part of growing up.” ~ Ted Lasso
8. “It’s kind of like back in the ’80s when ‘bad’ meant ‘good.’ ” ~ Ted Lasso
9. “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.” ~ Ted Lasso
10. “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.” ~ Ted Lasso

Quotes from Ted Lasso

11. “To try is scary, you know, because you can end up losing a lot. But you have to put your heart out there.” ~ Sam Obisanya
12. “I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.” ~ Keeley Jones
13. “That Rebecca is an intimidating and very tall woman.” ~ Keeley Jones
14. “Every disadvantage has its advantage.” ~ Rebecca Welton
15. “Call me old one more time.” ~ Roy Kent
16. “You deserve someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by lightning. Don’t you dare settle for fine.” ~ Roy Kent
17. “I belong here. This didn’t just fall into my lap, all right? I earned this.” ~ Nathan Shelley
18. “I’m sort of famous for being almost famous.” ~ Keeley Jones
19. “I like the idea of someone becoming rich because of what they gave to the world.” ~ Sam Obisanya
20. “All right, yeah. Let’s go… murder some birds with a rock.” ~ Nathan Shelley

Ted Lasso Quotes

21. “It’s just a group of people who care, Roy. Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air.” ~ Ted Lasso
22. “So I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. ‘It’s the hope that kills you.’ Y’all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief.” ~ Ted Lasso
23. “Just listen to your gut, and on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what.” ~ Ted Lasso
24. “I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.” ~ Ted Lasso
25. “You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? Got a 10-second memory. Be a Goldfish” ~ Ted Lasso

26. “I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right.” ~ Ted Lasso
27. “Most of the time change is a good thing and I think that’s what it’s all about – embracing change, being brave, doing whatever you have to so everyone in your life can move forward with theirs, and maybe it’s the only way you can truly make her be happy. Obviously, by her I mean lady football.” ~ Ted Lasso
28. “Hey, doing the right thing is never the wrong thing.” ~ Ted Lasso
29. “I think things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one.” ~ Ted Lasso
30. “Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas.” ~ Ted Lasso

Best Ted Lasso Quotes

31. “If God would have wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn’t have invented numbers.” ~ Ted Lasso
32. “I think that if you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t get through together.” ~ Ted Lasso
33. “For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.” ~ Ted Lasso
34. “Be honest with me. It’s a prank, right? The tea? Like when us tourist folks aren’t around, y’all know it tastes like garbage? You don’t love it. It’s pigeon sweat.” ~ Ted Lasso
35. “You say impossible, but all I hear is ‘I’m possible.’” ~ Ted Lasso
36. “Boy, I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.” ~ Ted Lasso
37. “You got Ronaldo and the fellow who bends it like himself.” ~ Ted Lasso
38. “It’s funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they’re now gone.” ~ Ted Lasso
39. “What I can tell you is that with the exception of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, not much lasts forever.” ~ Ted Lasso
40. “I believe in Communism. Rom-communism, that is. If Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can go through some heartfelt struggles and still end up happy, then so can we.” ~ Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso Quote

41. “Living in the moment, it’s a gift. That’s why they call it the present.” ~ Ted Lasso
42. “If we see each other in our dreams, let’s goof around a little bit, pretend like we don’t know each other.” ~ Ted Lasso
43. “You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.” ~ Ted Lasso
44. “I feel like we fell out of the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool of cash and sour patch kids.” ~ Ted Lasso
45. “Ice cream is the best. It’s kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live. Never disappoints.” ~ Ted Lasso
46. “Isn’t the idea of “never give up” one of them things we always talk about in sports? And shouldn’t that apply to people too?” ~ Ted Lasso
47. “A palace made out of crystal seems mighty fragile to me.” ~ Ted Lasso
48. “I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there you’re just one in eleven.” ~ Ted Lasso
49. “I promise you there is something worse out there than being sad, and that’s being alone and being sad. Ain’t no one in this room alone.” ~ Ted Lasso
50. “Sam was more open than the jar of peanut butter on my counter.” ~ Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso Quotes

51. “Little tip for y’all. Fries are called chips. Chips are called crisps. And bangers aren’t great songs, but they do make you feel like dancing because they’re so darn tasty.” ~ Ted Lasso
52. “Our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson — on a high!” ~ Ted Lasso
53. “It may not work out how you think it will or how you hope it does. But believe me, it will all work out.” ~ Ted Lasso
54. “It’s kind of like back in the 80s when ‘bad’ meant ‘good.’ ” ~ Ted Lasso
55. “You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t want to hear it.”  ~ Ted Lasso
56. “I lost my way for a minute, but I’m on the road back.” ~ Rebecca Welton
57. “It’s more than a game to me. It’s all I’ve ever known. It’s who I am. It’s all I am.” ~ Roy Kent
58. “Believe.” ~ Ted Lasso
59. “This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I’d hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off of it either.” ~ Ted Lasso
60. “As good as you are at your job, I’m twice as good at mine.” ~ Dr. Sharon Fieldstone

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