How to be Happy in life? The secret to happiness revealed

“How to be happy?” or “What’s the secret to happiness?” This is a question that has challenged, fascinated, agonized and entranced philosophers, scholars and the common folk for centuries. This one is a million dollar question about which everyone is looking for an answer. Irrespective to geographies, age, gender, and caste; everyone is searching for happiness.

Unhappiness has become a global pandemic; and behavioral scientists, spiritual gurus, life coaches and psychologists are researching for the cure for this. Not everyone has an answer to this question “How to be happy?”, but some sure worked hard to find an appropriate answer to this rather philosophical question. I also have struggled for better part of my life in search of the mirage called Happiness. I will be sharing tips based on my experience in this article. Before sharing the strategies on pursuit of happiness, let us understand the definition of Happiness.

What is Happiness?

Have you ever noticed that possession of things; which you felt will make you happy (when you did not have those); once you possess them does not make you happy anymore? You thought life will be full of joy when you will earn lot of money, you will have a car or a bungalow. All these are with you now; but still something is missing. What’s that missing thing which will make you happy?

As the existential philosopher Albert Camus said, “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

Happiness is not a substance, which you will find someday on a grocery shop in the local market. Actually; happiness is a multidimensional experience. Happiness is an experience of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfilment. In a layman’s language; happiness is a state of well-being consisting positive emotions, joyful feelings, deep contentment, sense of fulfilment and life satisfaction. If you ask me, “happiness simply is degree to which an individual judge the overall quality of her/ his life as-a-whole.”

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International Happiness Day

Do you know there is a day called Happiness Day? International Day of Happiness, also called Happiness Day is celebrated every year throughout across the globe on 20 March. United Nations General Assembly established this day on 28 June 2012. The Happiness Day aims to make aware and realize people around the world; the importance of happiness within their lives.

Tips on how to be happy or be a happier person

Here are the tips and strategies on how to be a happier person or be happy

Gratitude

Giving thanks can make you happier. Appreciating and being thankful for the receipt of something tangible or intangible makes you happy. Acknowledge the goodness in your life with a feeling of gratitude. Be grateful to god for all the positive things in your life. If you understand the duality of life, you may be grateful for some negative experiences as well. You just need to think from different perspective and explore positive aspects from those negative experiences.

Maintain a gratitude journal; writing down what you are grateful about for, several times a week brings you to state of abundance from the state of lacking, in turn augments life satisfaction and happiness.

Change your Beliefs

As I mentioned in the beginning; happiness is not about materialistic pleasures, I am sure all of you must have witnessed such thoughts at various instances in your life, “I will finally be happy when I will be married.” Or “If I get this dream job, I will finally feel utterly fulfilled.” Contrary to such thoughts you may also have thoughts like, “I will never be happy now that I have been diagnosed with a medical disease.” Or “I can’t be happy when I’m struggling to pay my bills.”

These beliefs have to be broken. Things that you think will make you happy; never make you happy for as long as you think they will. On the other hand, depressive life events and challenges don’t have as enduring an impact on your happiness as you believe they will, either.

The happiness you experienced at the time your first baby born is no more after having second kid. On the negative events side, when your one of the parents dies, you feel life is meaningless, but time fades the bitter feelings and you are on the track again with your responsibilities. You get used to with your circumstances with time.

So the beliefs play a bigger role on the state of happiness. Change your beliefs and see the difference.

Compare yourself to others

I feel you must have surprised with the above heading “Compare yourself to others”. Yes, you read it correctly. While most of the life coaches and gurus advice to stop comparing yourself with others; as this lead to unhappiness. I recommend you to compare yourself to others with sense of awareness with whom to compare.

You need to see people around you and compare – how privileged you are. Compare with the people, who are below your existing level of wealth, relationships and health. Look around, you will find many people, who are not able to arrange sufficient food for two times a day. There are so many people living in small house, have less daily earnings; and don’t have good clothes to wear. Lot of people are struggling with health issues. Corona pandemic situations have made the things worse for many people. People have lost their loved ones, lost the jobs, and had financial lose in the business. The people who were able to survive after disease are struggling with post COVID symptoms. I am personally facing a lot post COVID health issues. You may read My COVID Story here.

The moment you start observing all this around you; instantly you will find God has given you much more than those people. Should not be you happy about all these?

Stop Ruminating and carrying your emotional baggage

Rumination kills you; continuously thinking about the same thoughts, which tend to be sad or dark literally eats out your brain slowly and steadily like a termite. Ruminating and carrying your emotional baggage is one of the biggest obstacles to live a happy life. If you will live in negativities of past; how can you live your present life peacefully? You are bound to feel bitter and unhappy.

Stop Ruminating, forgive people, unload your emotional baggage and move ahead in life. You will feel much happier than ever before.

Mindfulness or living in the present moment

Mindfulness or living in the present moment detaches you from your painful past experiences and worries or anxieties of future. Instead of remembering the unhappy past and fearing the future uncertainties; acknowledge the present blessings. Be aware about your inner self; happiness lies within you, you need not to explore it in the outside world. Happiness is not found in the external materialistic things at all.

Mindfulness is the secret of happiness. Mindfulness helps you get out of loops of negative thoughts; connect you to a sense of inner contentment and enhance your awareness about positive things around you. All these are the things – what makes you happy.

Unplug from Social Media

Social media has created a virtual world. We are spending a lot of time on social media apps; peeping in friends, relatives and of course ex-ones. In this virtual world everyone seems euphoric – apart from us. Here beings the chain of negative comparisons. Many people post fake happiness on social media to mask their real-life unhappiness. Those pseudo happiness posts makes you feel more unsettled. All this lead to you feeling inferior and unhappy. So, unplug from internet and social media and feel happier.

Relationships

The world-famous Harvard University has done one of the 80+ years longest-running study on happiness. This Harvard Study has found a strong association between happiness and close relationships like spouses, family, friends, and social circles. Dr. Waldinger says “Personal connection creates mental and emotional stimulation, which are automatic mood boosters, while isolation is a mood buster.”

Strengthen the bond in your relationships. Spend more quality time along with loved ones. Work on your relationship goals and live a more satisfying and happier life. Satisfying relationships not only make people happy, but they are also associated with better health and even longer life.

Health (physical n mental)

Health is Wealth. Physical and Mental fitness added with healthy balanced diet makes an impact on your mood. If you suffer from diseases or have mental health issues, you can’t be happy.

Maintain an exercise regime; any physical activity counts – running, gyming, cycling, dancing, yoga, – as long as you break a sweat. Even a brisk walk of 20 to 30 minute will help. Getting your blood pumping releases endorphins throughout your whole body, creating feelings of happiness that combat a bad mood. Exercise also beneficial for mental health, which is directly connect to your happiness. Practice mindfulness, pranayama and meditation to maintain good mental health. Eat a healthy balanced diet. Have good night’s sleep. All these factors play a critical role on your overall happiness index.

Find more happiness articles

Thank you for reading this. Over to you now, please let us know your views and tips and strategies on how to be happy? Share them in the comment section, they are much appreciated.

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How to be Happy in life? The secret to happiness revealed