How to deal with difficult people?

Human beings are a social creatures; we can’t survive without society. When we live in a society, we have to interact with many people; be it at workplace, home, college, festival celebrations or social gatherings. During these day to day interactions; we all have been there, where we find few people difficult to deal with. Such difficult people are annoying, frustrating, and exhausting. Many of us try to escape from such situations and avoid to deal with these challenging people. But, how about the people to whom we can’t ignore just like that? We have to deal with difficult people in almost all phases of our lives.

We need to learn how to deal with difficult people. One must shift from acting as a critic who passes judgement or a victim who is being defensive; to a responsible person who can work with different type of people. Our ability to deal with such difficult or tough people will have more of an influence on our overall success, happiness and quality of our relationships. It helps us to function well in the society and competitive world.

In my life, I have fair share of difficult people. You also must have difficult people in your personal as well as professional life who drives you nuts! In this article, I am going to share with you How to deal with difficult people?  Though there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with difficult people, here are some ideas for how you can handle the difficult person in your life:

Stay calm

Stay calm and cool while dealing with difficult people. I know they are annoying and gonna frustrate you. But in any way, losing your temper and flaring out at the person in front of you typically isn’t the best way to get him/her to collaborate with you.

Similarly, In the situations when the difficult person is angry at you. Calmly listen him; don’t raise your voice or disrespect him/her. Making noise or shouting at another person will not solve your problem, instead, it will make the situation worse by adding fuel to an already heated situation.

Even if you feel that anger will trigger the other person into action, don’t use this strategy. The reason behind this is anger affects your overall capability of judgement, memory and intellect, which are important for decision making in any situation.

Avoid taunting or mocking of any level. It may turn around in stressed situations.

Listen

Listening skills play a critical role while you deal with a difficult person. Listen and listen them carefully with a nonjudgmental attitude. Not only this, in fact try to listen what they haven’t said. You can do this through noticing and reading their body language and tone.

Let the difficult person complete what all he/she want’s to say. Give him/her chance to finish his words without interrupting. Your focus should be on what other person is saying, not on what you want to say next. You may ask clarifying questions in case of any confusion, and use paraphrasing and mirroring to check accuracy of hearing.

This will not only give you time to chose your response, but also will help to understand what’s going through in other persons mind. Over n all you come in a better position to handle the situation.

Don’t react

Can you change any other person’s behavior? No, it is out of your control. What all you can do is control your response. The greatest stress you go through when dealing with a difficult person is not fueled by the words or actions of that person – it is fueled by your mind that gives their words and actions importance. It’s all in your control how to react or respond to their words or behavior.

Don’t react and give confirmation to sadistic people that their tactics are working. Even it’s not intentional, your reaction may give more power to the difficult person by acknowledging that they bother you.

Understand the needs

When dealing with difficult people; always remember that no one is difficult for the sake of being difficult. There is always an underlying reason that motivates anyone to act or behave in a particular way. Understand the needs of the person to whom you are dealing with. Try to identify what’s bugging him/her or making him/her act in this manner? How can you help to meet his/her needs and resolve the situation? Try to find out a solution which creates a win-win situation for both of you.  When you address the needs of difficult person you are in better position to make him/her collaborate with you.

Don’t try to change difficult people

When we meet a difficult person, or if we have one in our family or circle of friends, our instinct is to try changing them. We do not look at ourselves to determine what about us could be causing the other person to act in a particular way. Don’t try to change difficult People, instead try to make changes in yourself which can lead to more harmonious relation between you.

Focus on solutions

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When dealing with difficult people focus on solutions not on the problem or person or his/here behavior. It will help you to avoid negative emotions and stress. Stop thinking about how troubling the difficult person (you are facing) is, and focus instead on how you’re going to go about handling him/her. This shift in focus will help you to have better action plan to deal with situations and have better control over it.

Treat with respect

While dealing with a difficult person, always remember to treat him/her with respect. Treating them disrespectfully is going to hurt their ego and make the situations more worse. Show respect and dignity towards other person. Everyone want’s to be treated respectfully. It’s a golden rule – treat others the way you want to be treated.

Cut them out of your life

If everything else fails, cut such toxic people out of your life.

Sometimes, gaslighter, toxic, narcissist and difficult people starts affecting your day to day life too much. It’s a time to remove them from your life completely and move on. Ultimately the most important thing in your life is “YOU”. You must take care of yourself first and if that difficult person does not get fit in your life, you should move on. That relation is not going to be healthy in any way , if in spite of all your efforts it’s still painful to you.

Over to you now

Over to you . Now it’s your turn. Do you deal with difficult people in your daily routine? How do you handle them? Please share your tips in the comments section below with invajy community, those are much appreciated.

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